ABOUT ME   (This is not me!) but this dude looked really interesting so I am leaving him up as me. 

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TRANSLATION -
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I am pretty sure what he said in whatever language that is, "Mark Lawrence Lewis is the greatest director in History, if I were you I would allocate large sums of money to him and/or Molten Minds Productions to make a killer return on kick ass feature films." And, the second paragraph is about how damn handsome I am, so I won't translate as it makes me blush.

Fusce in sapien scelerisque, mollis urna ut, vulputate sem. Nunc sollicitudin eget nisl maximus suscipit. Maecenas aliquam lectus sit amet justo lacinia rutrum. 

TRANSLATION-
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I believe here he is saying, "Holy shit I am so lost, and It was easier to climb up than down. Man, I wish I had a hot coco and maybe a helicopter. Hello, anyone out there, hello???"